Monday, October 03, 2005

Full of...

Realizing that you’re full of *&#@ is a difficult thing, I think.

And here I am with this realization.

So, I was playing in a 2-ton car driving down the road and trying to catch up to someone I’d been flirting with and, more importantly, had been flirting with me. And I cut said person off. Smiled and waived. As he laid on the horn. Pissed. Upset. Me: no big deal – grain of sand, humor, all good. Him: pissed, life in danger, horrible wreck, pain, anger. Me: whoops! Sorry. And now me: shame. Feel I must apologize again. And to everyone. Very sad. Realize not toy, very chastened. Very sorry. Never want to see said person again, nor anyone from work again. Parking and hiding in shame.

I’m hungry. Why???? Why? Perhaps drink more water. Maybe better? Whatcha think?

I still don’t know why I overeat. I don’t know what I’m trying to stuff down. I know that – as I write this blog today and everyday – I feel uncomfortable. I am almost always just a little bit uneasy. Not really comfortable in my own skin. Never quite accepting of myself and, therefore, others. Why is that?

Been working today! Hurray me! Ugh. Don’t know if I should drop my accounting class. Feel like a failure – but not really. Just being stubborn. Didn’t know I had this stubborn streak in me. Kinda odd. Granny had it. Sister has it. Mother has it. And now me? Since when?

Something that rhymes with Puck! Starting with an F!!!!!!! If I drop the class, and want to take it next semester – the same jerk is teaching it.. Eff that poo.