Today, so far.

Tuesday morning.
Yesterday was the last Monday evening in which I will get to go home and relax for a few precious moments before school. Starting next week (Monday), I will be leaving work, going straight to Pilates, and then go straight to school. I am hoping that the traffic gods are kind and I might have a chance to stop at Pita Jungle for dinner before Pilates. Probably, in the scheme of things, not the best idea—to eat before working out, but I will be famished and possibly unable to make it as I won’t have time after Pilates/before school to stop to pick something up. And I won’t get out of class until 9:15 pm. OH! Plus I might get to see James. Very important point.
Class last night was pretty good: after some scary moments when I opened my book, and couldn’t figure out at all what I was supposed to be doing—thinking, “oh, fuck, I’m fucked.” I had just informed G that I was one day from being fucked. And it was untrue, I was already fucked! But, alas, I had skipped ahead and was trying to do the homework after last night, i.e. we hadn’t learned to do that yet.
So I was relieved and mildly happy. And I declare that I will do my homework from now on. No exclamation point.

Recovery.
I am still searching for information/help about ED (CO and BE). Ha! Just kidding that is Eating Disorder(s), Compulsive Overeating, and Binge Eating (Disorder). I’ve found a site called something fishy dot org. Strange site, but I am feeling better today. And will continue to check in there and maybe join a support group and/or board.

Yesterday, I was very upset and was looking at Rader Programs. Have you ever seen a commercial for Rader? I remember them from years ago..and every once in a while I will catch the same commercial and just cry like a baby. Or rather weep. Yes, I am that sick. I can’t see how I could stop my life, my job to go. If that time were to come, I think I’ve past it.

But something fishy dot org is nice. And I’ll do more reconnaissance and report back any findings. But I am definitely feeling more hopeful today. I’ve read a few articles and printed off a little saying. Maybe. Maybe.
:)