Slight Hopefulness. Like butterfly wings.

I went to Sprouts this evening. It was kind of exciting to be there buying healthy fare. I hope it means good things. Fruit. I love fruit. I bought apples and pears and nectarines and plums. MMMmmm. I purchased cage-free eggs and fat-free cheese. Mmm on the eggs. Umm on the fat-free cheese. But so much bettah for you (well maybe not you but me). I had cheese crips the other night and let me say: full on fat cheese and me are no longer on speaking terms. Well, at least not the the extent we were. I mean, we were full on lovers. Now we just slightly pet.
I wanna build little snackie-lunchie things. I quite excited by it. Damn that Starbucks. ;)
I've bought a power protein-y thing from the bucks of star yesterday. It had a hard-boiled egg, a mini-bagel w/pb, apple slices and a little cheese with some grapes. Today I had more of a freshie fruitie/cheese plate. Cheddar and asiago and brie with apple slices and grapes. Oh, and a little of their drier-than-fuck cranberry, raisin, walnut loaf that I stuck some of the leftover pb on.
No pressure. But I'm excited for B to move back. We can have healthy salads and lovely meals at home, for super cheap because they might actually get eaten. Hmmm. Ohmm.

Work was interesting-ish. Had computer training with a different lady. Kim or barbara or . . . Pat? Pat maybe. She was nice. And we had Angel, who was annoying. But at least I wasn't sitting there by myself. With the trainer. Which is what happened in the afternoon and which will happen tomorrow and for the rest of the week and continuing on for quite sometime apparently. ANYhoo- about Angel. She was trying to be helpful. And was the opposite. AND sOOOO reminded me of me 20 years ago (note: that was not a typo). Kinda knew it all and would try to be helpful. And would be exuberant (read super-hyper) (( actually just went to dictionary.com and exuberant - 1. effusively and almost uninhibitedly enthusiastic; lavishly abundant. 2. abounding in vitality; extremely joyful and vigorous. - that's all good. I wasn't always complimented as such. BUT that really was me. )) anyway. me being super hyper. Always. And wanted people to like me and had wild mood swings from depth of despair to the exuberance we were just discussing. (Or rather, I was writing because this isn't a conversation. Except for maybe me with me. ) Later, I was glad she was gone (Angel and me). But was a little sad (I wax poetic about the loss of my youth) not so much for Angel (just a little).

Let's get back to the food. Yes, let's. I am hopeful that I will get back on program and live happily ever after. Anyone else have hope lately? It shoud be "Got Hope?" and not mean anything Gesus-ie. I'm gonna try for the sleep. I have hope for that, as well. Wish me luck.

A Brand New Day!

Yesterday was my first day at my new job! (I didn't really feel like the exclamation - but it did deserve more than a period.) My trainer loves me. It's true. Apparently when she interviewed me (as part of a panel) I was her first pick. And the only one who worked out. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't every one's first pick. I was just hers. Note to self: stop being so fabulous and modest. :)
ANYWAY. Yesterday was my first day at my new job! And my trainer loves me! I think I'm gonna super like it (although little sad face about the money). And I survived it on no sleep - a little (read: lot) of caffeine and some guts.
I learned about ACROSS ACOPPERSTATE - which are standards by which we test whether someone is an employee or not. It kinda made me sad because I should have studied more in school.
The ASU stuff was fine. And I learned a helluva lot at GCC but I think the stress of tax season and school and mom's illness robbed me of a lot of what I learned and could have retained. I sat there wishing I had studied more (bears repeating). And I think I got a high B or an A in that one semester. It was only later that I started falling apart with the stress.

Well, I'm awake again and would like to try to go back to sleep. I don't know if that's a stupid idea or whether I should just stick it out.

For the next two days in training I should have computer systems illustrations, etc (training). For two days! Either there's one helluva lot of crap to learn or I'm gonna be soo bored!

Going back to the school notion. I wonder if I should try to go back or if I should just lump it and try to muscle through. I have not a clue on this one. Probably means I'll just muscle through.

Perhaps I should try to lie back down. My thoughts are all jumbled and I'm really tired.
:)
Here's hoping!

It's true, I'm UP!

So I start work in a little less than 5 hours. At least that's when I need to be there. I need to leave in 3 hours 45 minutes. Ugh! And I've been awake for 2 hours, 15. In the interest of saving time, I've actually taken my shower and done my hair. (Hair: only so much that I don't really have to mess with it tomorrow.. I can sleep on it.) (( Did I write "tomorrow" - It is actually TOday! ))

Went out today and looked at condos and houses again. G and Mc came with. (BTW-Mc and I made up, again.) I got very excited about a house or two. Mom really wants a condo. I mean in so much as that the little house I was excited about she has already pooh-poohed. Oh, well. She wants a condo and it is her money. Long story.

WHY am I awake? This, I fear, is going to be disaster. I mean, it's always hard to sleep the night before you start a new job. . . but this is ridiculous!! Seriously!! I'm totally going to get tired and then not be able to concentrate and if I could just grab a couple of more hours, I think I might be safe. But as it stands now: I'm going to need coffee and sugar.. which, of course, means that I will be all hyper and freak-like and then crash and be all yawny. AND I'll probably need it at least twice. FCUK! (typo on purpose-sorta)

Anybody out there? Anybody have ideas, other than to lie in bed until I make myself crazy? The other school of thought is that you are supposed to lie there xx minutes (what is it, like, 20?) and then get up and do something else for xx minutes (this time I have no idea). But I've tried lying there and then getting up and anwering emails and playing computer solitare. Then back to bed. Then reading a chapter in my book while lying in bed and then lights out. Then getting up and taking a shower and doing my hair. And then back to bed. (this time I didn't stay the required xx minutes - I basically just popped back up.) Have played more solitare (I'M ADDICTED TO SPIDER SOLITARE and I currently suck at it.). Then decided to go back to bed but before I made it, I decided I could blog.

Another aside - someone once mentioned that bloging came from somewhere - where exactly? I'll have to look it up. According to Wikipedia - A blog is a contraction of the term "Web log." Just wondering. Wondering concluded.

I'm going to try the bed again. Wish me luck.

And so it goes.

Ok. I'm yawning and keeping one eye closed. But I'm still awake. And I'm still writing in this blog. Which is two days in a row and must be some kind of record for me. {edit: it was three days- only the first one was on myspace.)
Moving on. Yes, that's what I would like to do. I went house/condo looking yesterday. I'm exhausted. It started off fairly terrible and then got really good and ended on such a high note, I couldn't believe - and then it all went to sh1@t$u (and not at all in a pleasant way). ((Looking at that line, perhaps I should change the expletive- because it could probably mean that it could have gone terribly right.)) ANYhoo - I just got defeated when we started talking about the dogs. I hadn't really thought it would be a big deal and apparently, it is. UGH!
For those of you in the know, I no longer have b & B. It was time and b is gone. :( But I still have B and then got Banshee. So, technically I now have B & Bshe.
GAWD- I'm tired. I'm gonna try lying down again.
-peace out.

I'm up. Again, again. Whatever.

I wonder when I blog. I don't do it that often. But my last blog title was, "Ok. I'm up. Again" . . and the one before that was something like, "I'm up!" So probably I couldn't sleep. Which is my current, and ongoing, predicament.
Here's a fun fact for you: I've been unemployed for a while. I start my new job on Monday! Whoo Hoo! Think it sounds lovely and interesting even if the moola isn't exactly where I want it to be. It's for a local government office, so I am hoping the benefits far outweigh the lack of $$. Predicament, not so much. Here it comes. Wait for it: I received an email from the city of San Francisco. Wouldn't it be lovely? But it was only an invitation to test, not even for a job interview. AND I'm getting old. As my mom succinctly put it after I made that comment, "You are old." (Thanks, mom!) And I need to start building wealth (for retirement, etc.) But then that argument goes.. isn't the wealth you build about the quality of your life? Maybe, maybe not so much.
Why, oh, why am I awake? Why don't I have lovely drugs that will do their job and knock me out. Seriously, I had alcohol last night.. a non-skimpy version either. And yet, still woke up at 5 am. Bodes well for the new job.. except, I might be too tired to do any actual work.
Anybody else out there awake at this hour on a Saturday morning? No? Or if you are, you haven't gone to bed yet. A$$h01e. Heeee. I'm clever, I can cuss and stuff.

Ok. I'm up. Again.

Heee. It's been a year since I've been here. Looking good. Or not. Whatever. I think I'm amusing. But apparently no one else does. But that's ok. Maybe. No, it's ok. I'm not doing this for anyone else but me.
So I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. There's a shocker.
So I'm still fat. Big surprise! I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that surprise.
Here's a fun fact: I'm still in school. HA! But this is my last semester. And then it'll be tax season. And then my lovely boss, who doesn't love me, but who I totally want in a bad way, will leave. And I'll be here or there heartbroken. Oh, well.
He called me yesterday. Still really don't know why. Just to talk. Weird. Shot my concentration all to hell. I was studying for an exam. No good can come of it. - I finished the exam 1st. No good. No darn good. Which means, of course, that I failed that exam. I should never, ever finish first. Means I don't know my stuff. Awww.. that's too bad.
OH! I should remind people (the many non-existant throngs that come here to read all about my life) to go to this website and watch Pizza Pete. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5fL2C_2wBg Ok. Did my public service. Not really a public service. It's a personal service. It's my bff's 1st picture. Get it a once over. You might like it.

Ok. I'm up.

So, Smokey kept scratching at the door this morning. Lovely. Need not to reward him when I don't like his behavior. So I laid in bed. That made B & B anxious. They wanted out. and out. and to see if I was breathing. So finally, I dragged my sorry butt outta bed. And now what? Let's see if I can go work out, shall we?

Do you think it's wrong that I can't remember my cousin's last name? I mean really. I've been sitting here trying to think of his last name.. and his mother's and/or father's. Because really, they're all the same name. And I can't. What's wrong with me? Seriously?
Anyway.

Again? Enough, already!

It's true. Here I am again. It's like some surreal thing. Me typing. Me ignoring and hiding. Me attempting to lose weight/exercise. Me ignoring and hiding. Whoops! That's the same thing.

So, I know the secrets, don't I? Don't I? Watch what I eat and exercise. Really get a sweat going. Make sure to drink enough water. If I can manage take my vitamins, especially B Complex. Do I do those things? Nope. Not even a little. Well, a little - - - or a lot - - - for a few days or few weeks, until . . . what, exactly?
Until I don't, I guess.
So let's make this little plan. I will follow my schedule and write in this blog at least a little something, every day. As soon as I get back from San Diego. Right. Right. Sure. I can do it.
Let's see what'll happen, shall we?