Sunday, May 27, 2012

Again. New and Hope.

Ok. I don't know what this blog is supposed to be about. Other than it is about me. And my thoughts. I guess that it's ultimately about my struggles. My struggle to be the best me I can be.

I've finally figured out that is what I want. I want to be the best me possible. Perhaps, that way I can be happy. That way--I can find purpose in my life. Maybe. Maybe.

Hopefully.

Of course, there are some less lofty goals that I have. Like wanting to be able to pay my bills. Wanting a new car, wanting to travel, wanting a hot boyfriend with a crazy, hard body. Eh, I wouldn't mind a sick, hard body for myself either.

With my craziness, how do I trust the new path I'm on now?  Well, I don't know.  But I can tell you, I feel more like myself, more me than I have in a long time, maybe more than I ever have.  I know it's the fancy cocktail of designer drugs and I know that I have to continually adjust and check in with myself to make sure I don't lose myself.  There is fear involved.

So I'll try to be honest. I'll try to follow-through. And follow-up. And I have a lot of work to do - studying and traveling and working and schmoozing and exercising.  This is what I have to do.

So this is what I'll do.

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